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CONVERSATIONS WTH MYSELF:  The Chase

You know, I think “the chase” is a very youthful thing to want ...or to like. When you grow older you realize you don’t really care about the chase, it’s all tiring. You just want to find a person and both of you put things on the table like this is who I am and this is what I can give you, who are you and what can you give me? And then you both weigh your options out and you’re like cool, you wanna hang out? Or you wanna date? No need to hide… you pour out everything. 

Well, maybe not every single thing you are but, you put your cards on the table. You’re honest about it, you don’t hide some stuff.

You don’t hide stuff like it’s a video game. Like when a person gets to a particular level, something is unlocked. I mean, that’s good too but not purposeful hiding in the sense that you feel less when someone has found out who you are. You’re not like that anymore when you get older. You’re not “running” because you want to give yourself some kind of ranking or value or the whole “she was difficult to catch so she’s the real deal” thing. None.

 You only put in some barriers, not all, not a lot, just the important ones, for safety reasons but not because you feel like he’s gonna go and say “wow, I chased her for like 10 years she must be the shit. She’s not an easy girl”.

 When you mature, easiness, in the context we use it, is not a bad thing anymore. You’re open and honest about what you want and he is also.

 It’s a very youthful thing have that energy, the energy for the chasing. And it’s a very mature thing to save said energy and put it into the actual relationship.
Save the energy from pretending not to be a human with human functions, pretending to not wake up with crust in your eye, or bad breath, pretending to not fart, pretending to not pee with noise (personal shade 😊)…. You save all that and you put it in the actual relationship. You are a person, with basic functions.

 It’s a very youthful thing to pretend, It’s a very old thing to say, fuck it.
You know, when people get older, like old people, for instance, they don’t even have a filter anymore. They just say whatever they want because fuck it, who cares? They have gone through a lot to realize that “I don’t wanna care about how you feel cuz you honestly don’t care about me that much so why do I have to filter my words? Why do I have to pretend to be who I’m not just to please you especially as you don’t care that much about me anyway?” People that actually do care about you wouldn’t want you to filter how you really feel, they wanna know the truth about you. …to an extent obviously(lol) but,... Pretence is a very youthful thing, Openness is maturity. 

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