The Life and Times

  So, I figured out what it’s called. Tokophobia . I wasn’t expecting the name to sound like that. “Toko”  phobia. Lol doesn’ t sound normal to me. Primary Tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy and/or childbirth. Tbh I don’t know why every woman doesn’t have this. The part that got to me was the reasons they gave for why a person with tokophobia thinks of it. Like fear of the imagined labour pain, or fear of body changes , or low pain thresholds . All concerns are valid , but th o s e aren’t mine . Although, now that I think about it, it could be part of it for me too. My body changing, truly, to never being the same again. That’s quite a change honestly when you think about it, from probably getting blind to my puss changing completely and then kids!!... and the body scars and the possibility of dying, and how often you hear about women, especially black women, dying so easily , because of little things in the delivery room. I am scared frankly because, like most of my fears- religious

A 4 MINUTE READ PHOTO BY  RETHA FERGUSON  FROM  PEXELS Even before the chaos in the world we live in became even more chaotic, getting into the zone might have always been an issue, at least at different times. I personally can attest to that. Creativity has a sense of mystery and elusiveness attached to our definition of it, and at times, we can feel like, if it doesn’t flow out like  a whisper in the wind  or in our dreams, or just all at once, through our fingertips, then, of course, it’s not really  IT . But that’s not how it is, not always anyway. We have the magical surreal moments when it feels like the gods and goddesses themselves drop bits and pieces of ideas into our souls. Other times, we have to try a little harder to get into it, especially when we can’t wait for the “right” moment to flow. So, let’s get into it. How do we help ourselves access this state of flow, at the times when it doesn’t come directly to us? Here are some tips. 1) Do Breathing Exercises or Meditate f

Image by  Crea8t  from  Pixabay   “I’ve never seen a useless country like this…” “I can’t believe I’m from this country” “Nigeria is a huge joke” “God have mercy, where are we heading to in this country? Everything is upside down?” These are all real statements, by the way, I didn’t just make them up. I have for sure said an equivalent of that sometime in my life but that doesn’t help me or the situation. We forget our history or rather, we want to move past it like it was just this thing that happened. Nigeria was birth out of a huge trauma, and much like any other trauma, there must be space and time to heal from it. Acceptance is also important. You cannot, for instance, get hit by a car, lose a leg but expect to walk like nothing happened. You must first heal from the wound, get a prosthetic leg that fits you and then practice walking one step at a time. You will not walk like a person without your wounds and that is as should be. Before colonization, Nigeria was n